well i did get to see Elvin the guide
that keeps saying "Ah Ruthi I see you next year!" and so that was fun...
Again I
stood next to a daughter and held her right hand as she and I swore all that we
said on paper and verbally was correct. Then I again kissed a hand of our
daughter. I am so grateful for this point in the adoption process...then we
stood in front of the representative and answered the few questions and that is
when Kim changed.
Start reality..last step before leaving. Last step before
arriving. Turmoil all inside. Don;t touch me, don;t stand beside me, don't get
on the same escalater step ...just leave me the alone. I was crying because of
he change in her stance and her turmoil and because I realized that I was able
to sign her papers on my moms birthday. What would my mom be doing right at
these moments through all of these grand-daughters arrivals? My dad and mom Bev
did not travel with me this time and their presence was missed the whole time
but we have collected toothpicks from all areas of China to return home with for
dad and i see lots of compasses that i know one will make it's way into my
suitcase for Bev.
I am grateful for Carrie's presence her as she gives Kim a
chance to escape and she has been walking by her when out. Carrie is such a
great travel companion! So the face of adoption today does not have one. She is
not looking at me. The pictures reflect that .... but i know tomorrow is a new
day, and that each minute it does get better. I had Richard explain to her that
all the children go through these emotions and then i showed her that I will
leave her alone, folding my hands in my lap and have left her alone as I do know
in my heart that I will know when she is ready for me to touch her again.
No comments:
Post a Comment